How Sensory Seeking Can Lead to Connection
Spinning, jumping, and swinging. Bear hugs and loud environments. Wiggles and squirming. These are just some sensory-seeking behaviors common in children and teens—not your child acting out or being unruly and disrespectful. Sensory seeking is when a child seeks out and even craves sensory input. Unlike children who are sensory avoidant—often overwhelmed by input—children who are sensory seeking thrive on stimulation. In Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®), these behaviors are understood as a response to the nervous system’s need for more or different sensory input. TBRI recognizes sensory seeking as ways to regulate, cope with stress or past trauma, or feel grounded in their environments. When we have a better understanding of sensory processing—how our bodies take in and understand information from the world around us—we are more equipped to meet the needs of our kiddos and build connection with them.
We are all familiar with five primary senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, but there are three other senses that are just as important.
- Proprioception: Knowing where your body is without looking (like touching your nose with your eyes closed).
- Vestibular: Helping with balance and movement (so you don’t fall when standing on one foot).
- Interoception: Noticing what’s happening inside your body (like feeling hungry, tired, or needing to use the restroom).
According to Soundsory, “We use sensory input all the time. For example, we feel the texture of clothes, smell a favorite food, catch a ball, or hear our phone ringing in a bag. When our brain processes these inputs well, we feel balanced and in control. But when it doesn’t, everyday situations can feel too much … or not enough.” The following are specific examples of sensory-seeking behaviors.
- Excessive movement: Fidgeting, jumping, spinning, or a need for constant motion.
- Touch/tactile input: Seeking out deep pressure, textures, or frequently touching of objects or people.
- Auditory: Loud vocalizations, a preference for loud environments, or seeking out specific sounds.
- Visual: Seeking out bright lights, patterns, or movement.
- Proprioceptive input: Wrestling and climbing, pushing or pulling heavy objects, or again, seeking out deep pressure.
- Vestibular input: Craving movement and balance experiences, like swinging or spinning.
As parents and caregivers, we want our children and teens to thrive in day-to-day life, and supporting them in their sensory-processing needs is integral in that. To begin, consider the ideas and insights below to better meet your children’s sensory-seeking needs, helping them to regulate in their external environments while building connection, trust, and felt safety.
- Spend time observing and learning more about your child’s specific sensory needs, and begin tailoring activities to meet those needs.
- Provide opportunities for safe and appropriate sensory exploration (e.g. sensory bins, water play, or opportunities for movement).
- Promote regulation through pushing and pulling activities (e.g. wall pushes, carrying or pushing a weighted item, or playing tug-of-war).
- Include physical activity in your daily routine (e.g. walks, jogs, or bike rides)—not just for your kiddos but for the entire family. .
- Place priority on play (e.g. kickball, tennis, and jumping on a trampoline)—and be sure to join in on the fun!
- Remember healthy snacks that are crunchy or chewy as well as straws for drinks. (And don’t shy away from bubblegum or hard candies as both are great for proprioceptive input.)
As you grow in understanding your child’s sensory-seeking needs, the common TBRI saying See the need. Meet the need. will be crucial. Build the awareness to see beyond your child’s behavior in order to meet the need behind it, and as you do, you will grow in connection with your child, building trust and felt safety. So many times, as parents and caregivers, we want our children or teens to meet us where we are, but true connection will happen when we join them where they are.
