How to Honor Your Child’s Birth Culture

The Importance of Honoring Your Child’s Birth Culture

As parents whose families have been built through adoption, it is important to honor your child’s birth culture. This is particularly true for children who are of a different race or ethnicity from the other members of their families. According to an article from the National Council for Adoption (NCFA), “Adoption, especially internationally or transracially, can create challenges that aren’t found in families of a single background. On the one hand, adoption in America contributes toward a growing trend of multiracial or multiethnic families. On the other hand, ‘research suggests that same-race or transracially adopted children begin to become aware of racial differences as well as their adoptive status, as early as 4 to 5 years of age. … As transracial adoptees become adults, they further recognize the differences, and ‘experience feelings of loss of birth culture and family history and the growing awareness of racism and discrimination in their everyday lives.” 

Practical Ideas to Get Started

While complete immersion into your child’s birth culture is a decision for him or her to make as he or she ages, you can contribute greatly to a strong sense of self within your child. Help your child understand who he or she is and where he or she comes from, celebrating God’s gift and the beauty of diversity. To get you started, the following are different ways you can honor your child’s birth culture.

• Read books together about the country’s or culture’s history and your child’s cultural heritage. 
• Add cultural foods to your family’s regular menu, and if possible, visit authentic restaurants that reflect the culture. 
• Look for opportunities to incorporate art from your child’s cultural heritage into your home, or visit museums and galleries that honor your child’s birth country. 
• Learn the language by introducing new words or phrases each week, or as a family, consider taking lessons together.
• Celebrate cultural holidays, or incorporate cultural traditions into your family’s holiday celebrations.  
• Plan a trip to your child’s birth country. This, obviously, could be a challenge, so perhaps it becomes a longer-term goal when your child is a teenager or even college-age. 

Additional Resources

Honoring your child’s birth country strengthens a foundation of belonging and acceptance through cultural celebration and education. As you do this, be honest about your child’s adoption story, not shying away from the challenging questions. For guidance in these potential conversations, check out “Before You Were Mine” by Susan TeBos and Carissa Woodwyk—a great book to read with your spouse or on your own. For books to read with your child, check out “Stellaluna” by Janell Cannon and/or “A Mother for Choco” by Keiko Kasza. 

For more on ways to honor your child’s birth culture, check out this video from Show Hope’s Coordinator of Programs Kara Capps.