Understanding Disorganized Attachment
Introduction to Attachment Theory
If you have been following Show Hope’s work with Hope for Journey and Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®), you have more than likely encountered attachment. Attachment theory (as described in this blog post) tells us that a child is not born attached to their caregiver but rather will develop a specific style of attachment over the first several months of life. The four primary attachment styles are
- Secure
- Anxious (or Preoccupied in adults)
- Avoidant (or Dismissive in adults)
- Disorganized (or Unresolved in adults)
About Disorganized Attachment
The Disorganized and Unresolved attachment styles are the most complex and least consistent of the four classifications. Unlike dismissive, preoccupied, and secure, an unresolved classification in adulthood is not linked developmentally to a disorganized classification in childhood. Despite this lack of connection between the two, both disorganized and unresolved attachment classifications reflect loss or trauma. According to the The Attachment Project, “Perceived fear is the central aspect” of the development of this attachment style.
Signs of Disorganized/Unresolved Attachment
In both child- and adulthood, individuals with this attachment style display inconsistencies in their behavior. Particularly in children, a disorganized classification can be an indicator of inconsistent caregiving. Children who experience this inconsistency do not know when, or if, their needs will be met.
One of the biggest indicators of a disorganized/unresolved attachment style is a desire for close relationships while also fearing them, due to a belief that rejection and disappointment are coming.
More specifically, here are signs as outlined by The Attachment Project:
- Difficulty trusting others
- Trouble regulating your emotions
- Signs of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles
- A fear of rejection
- Confusing or contradictory behaviors
Hope and Healing
If you believe that you have an unresolved attachment style or if you are caring for a child you believe has a disorganized attachment style, professional therapy can be a helpful tool to use to work toward healing.
Additional Resources
Children and teens need to know they are safe, secure, valued, and loved, yet there are many needs that are often overlooked with traditional parenting models. If you are in need of further tools and resources, whether it be developing secure attachment within your children and teens or more in-depth training and equipping, we encourage you to learn more about our Pre+Post Adoption Support work, including our new online platform, Hope for the Journey.
