Theology of Connection: God Sees Beyond the Surface
Be Curious
The following is an excerpt from “Theology of Connection Guide: Exploring God’s Heart for Connection Through Scripture,” created by our friends and partners at Empowered to Connect. Learn more and purchase “Theology of Connection” here.
Scripture shows that God “does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance,” but God sees what is beyond the surface of a person or situation, to the heart of the matter (1 Samuel 16:7).
In Genesis 4, both Cain and Abel offered gifts of sacrifice to the Lord. On the surface, they both offered part of the fruits of their labor to God. However, God saw beyond their “good behavior.” While God could see that Abel’s behavior was motivated by worship and gratitude, he was able to see that underneath Cain’s “good behavior” was an inner drive of competition and jealousy. God responded to Cain by asking Cain not about his behavior but what was under the surface: “Why are you angry?” God connected with Cain’s heart, addressing what really mattered to Cain. He continued to address what was happening inside Cain, even as Cain doubled down on pretending.
On the other hand, in Acts 9, God showed a Pharisee who was hunting and murdering Christians that he sees beyond our worst behavior. As Saul neared Damascus on his way to imprison more Christ-followers, Jesus stopped him in his tracks with a question, asking, “Saul, why do you persecute me?” God knew that Saul was capable of much more than his “bad behavior.” When Paul was acting like the “worst of sinners,” God had the vision to see that he had the potential to be a force for good in his kingdom.
Jesus taught through his life on earth that God values curiosity to see beyond the surface. The Pharisees and teachers of the law were well-known for being the best behaved of God’s people— instead, Jesus criticized their inner motives and attitudes, comparing them to white-washed tombs, clean on the outside but full of dead men’s bones (Matthew 23:27-28). He saw past the surface of sinners’ worst behaviors to their true needs and desires (Luke 19:1-9, John 4:1-26, Matthew 11:18-19). Jesus taught his followers to use curiosity to look below the surface of a story or a question by teaching parables and providing a different answer than the question that was asked. Even in Jesus’ resurrection, his followers were encouraged to look beyond what is seen as they stared into an empty tomb and learned that he was risen.
When we practice curiosity as caregivers, we reflect the heart of God, asking the Holy Spirit to help us discern beyond what we see. As we begin to gain insight, we meet our children’s true needs. In turn, our children can experience the felt safety and connection God offers as he attunes to his children.
“Theology of Connection” was designed both as a standalone guide as well as companion to many other Empowered to Connect resources, including Cultivate Connection, a parenting course which is informed by the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development’s Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®). “Theology of Connection,” Cultivate Connection, and all our resources are based on best practices and research in attachment theory, trauma-informed care, and healing-centered engagement. Learn more by visiting empoweredtoconnect.org.
